Beards in Politics

I am fascinated by a man who can actually make a beard, a political statement. Especially in the face of a conservative 1950s America. ( In fact anyone who sticks it beard haters generally ) Of course we judge each other based on appearances bla bla bla, I'm talkin bout more than just not liking someone's hair. Or face. Or face-hair.

I'm suggesting, I suppose, beard prejudice.

Fidel Castro led Cuba for over 40 years. A lot of people want him dead. Ya, still. Mostly I figure because they have a real bad case of beard envy. Especially this lunatic fuck on camera saying she welcomes him assassinated, followed by something about "god will judge us". (I missed the part of the bible saying killing people with opposing political views is kosher but whatever.) She tried to say it was taken out of context. Quite impossible, and hardly surprising.

Yes, this is the example of an extremist moron. A very funny, scary, moron. (Re-elected I might add. She was called by Obama to congratulate her on the reelection when she hung up on him, believing it was a prank call.) Whatever, back to beards.

Castro is a socialist survivor in a capitalist world. He is also the only modern political leader with a beard. Please, think of one other. Why is that? Fidel entered politics as a university student of law, not as a communist, but as somone interested in human rights at a time when... there weren't any. He fell in love with a woman from an elitist family, and got married. The marriage didn't last on account of fidel being put in prison for conspiracy. Who knew such a normal guy would develop an inspirational beard, and, you know, change the world.

History lessons to a minimal, the goverment said no more political parties, we're taking over this shit, your constitutional rights are now worth dick-all. Granted, sometimes the government apparently has to do these things.

Students protested. He tried an operation in 1953 to politically overthrow the head hauncho: Batista. It didn't work at all. 150 attacked, 61 were killed, only 6 in combat. Many were tortured, many with no teeth left. Fidel was tried as a criminal and gave his quote "Convict me; it doesn't matter. History will absolve me."

Fidel toured like a rock star and by 1956 he had a small guerilla force with the likes of Che Guevara by his side. They had an epic dinner conversation, and by sun-up, Che was in. Anyone suspected of supporting the rebels was usually just shot or tortured, no real questions even asked. ( This is the government backed by the freedom lovin 'Mericans at the time. ) Fidel won a lot of Cuban hearts and didn't just preach, but hacked it in the bush with the troops.

Here's the beard content folks

Castro was asked if he would come to visit America by this slick talk show host at the time, to which Castro basically replied "sup im prtty bsy right now. country needz running.lol." The dude then asked "If you do, will you be coming here with that beard?!" The camera crew had a grande guffaw, and cast their gazes to Castro in anticipation of his response.

"It's possible that if I go, I will have the beard. I'm not thinking to cut my beard. Because I'm accustomed to it. The beard means many things to my country. When we have a fullfilled our promise of good government, I will cut my beard."

The length of Castro's beard was turned into the amount of time it has taken to fix the government. Cuba became an obsession with america at this point and refused to deal with him rationally, based on being a "communist." And possibly, as I'm suggesting, because he refused to conform to the acceptable norms that a political leader should.

No hotel in New York would take him except a dive in Harlem. He stayed and chilled with Malcolm X. A journalist asked the Russian leader Khrushchev "is Fidel a communist?" to which he replied "meh. I don't know if Fidel is communist, what I do know is that i'm a Fidelist."

"The era where weapons solved problems is ending. A new period is beginning in which the people's political conscience, historical needs and ideas will change the world" Fidel quoted recently.

It's pretty clear the US embargo SUCKS BALLS and stuff, and still after all this time and only hurts Cuban people. Some people (like myself) were given the impression that Castro is a bad guy, because the tv told me so. He eats babies to fuel his communism super powers, that even Captain America can't seem to best.

To my knowledge, he still hasn't shaved off his beard.

Beard History

Real Beard History

The Tartars figured the Persians were infidels and barbaric twits simply because Persians don't trim their whiskers. The Persians were such big beard fans that their kings would weave gold into their beards! That's FUCKING AWESOME! Germans were said to have, I don't know, at some point, been only allowed to shave their beard once they had slain their first enemy. Touching someone's beard was an offence that you solve by killing that person in a duel. Beards stand for such a variety of meanings, it's not surprising there is no universal answer to any beard question.

Other ancient people, I dunno, like, the Turks, Arabs, well, Jews and Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, Anglo-Saxons, Russians, fuck it - it was like, everyone - they were all really into beards. One of the first major beard trims of history happened when William the Conqueror made the men cut off their beards as a form of oppression and his authority. The best part, is that a lot of the guys were like "What a fuck!" and actually just left.

The country.

In the course of history, men with facial hair have been bestowed various traits such as wisdom and knowledge, sexual virility, masculinity, outdoors-men, or high social status. Conversely, also burdened with the attributes such as filthiness, crudeness, or being crazy.

In the years 1920 to 1960, if you had a beard it would have been for a religious reason, for a hippie/beatnik reason, or for a you're-just-old reason. Up to and throughout the 70's beards exploded. Seriously this is indisputable. If you could, you fucking did or you were square. The ever-bearded days came to a halt in the mid 1980's when something happened. Public opinion shifted and beards went underground for years.

Beards are shaved for many reasons, some practical, some more political. Firefighters for example, cannot get a clean seal on their face masks with a beard. Check. Iranian Marines must be clean shaven. Hmm. Beards are also not currently allowed in Turkish or Lebanese army or police forces. However, most armies deployed in Afghanistan are allowed to grow beards, Canada and United States (based on the commanding officer) have realized the benefits of beards include breaking down cultural barriers between North Americans and Afghan men who often wear a beard. Beards clearly mean many different things to many different people. I intend to find the answers to these beard mysteries.

beard love

long beard

Only by our beards combined

I am Captain Beard!

one day, this will turn into intellectual beard conversation.

Beard Evolution - Part 1 of the Beard Manifesto

Picture taken from a pretty sweet site that sells beards. Like, she makes a beard, maybe out of felt, and you put it on your face. Her site is situated here. (She got it from a guy Paul Blow, who is situated here.)

Thus begins our journey into the wild and wacky world of, you guessed it! Beards! I want this to be part of a series. I can think of a million directions to go in. I know at least one human being is going to read this and, I don't know, have an opinion, so I want to hear about it. I don't know how the comments work on this thing, but you can probably figure it out.

Beards evolved for me personally from the point I started growing a hair or two on my upper lip, to the longest my beard has ever been, today.I've decided to take this dreadful blog and turn it into a beard chronicle for a while. I've been inspired by other beard enthusiasts.

Though it's recently that I've been encouraged by many, and received countless high fives by passers-by to continue to grow a massive amount of hair on my face, I've also been called a terrorist and disgusting. So no, it's not all fucking lollipops and buttercups my friends. This was a journey that started ten years ago. The path was painful at times, the footing was questionable, and the looks of passers-by were funny ones.

Today, seems to me a truly unique point in history for the beard. Beards went in and out of style over and over through the course of time. The shape the hair on a hero's face was shaped by the place and time they lived in. What would my Dad look like without his beard? What would Robin Hood look like without his beard? Who would Che Guevara inspire with a clean cut look? Would a wizard like Gandalf look like a fucking knob without his wise face-hair? How do you know it's even Hitler if you shave him!? Facial hair is pretty much the most distinguishing feature of icons.